By Hosffman Ospino
Make your bed. Bathe. Put on clean clothes. Pick up your mess. Be courteous and smile. If these phrases ring a bell, most likely they remind us of our younger years when our parents repeated them incessantly. Perhaps they are an everyday mantra if we are raising children. Why are they so popular? Because they make our life together more enjoyable.
The COVID-19 global health crisis has done something interesting to many of us who are used to leaving our homes in the morning, traveling a lot, and spending time in many places: We must stay home. Yes, stay and not leave, except for the sporadic walk or run around the neighborhood. That means that we now spend almost 24 hours a day in the same space, with the people with whom we live. How long will this last? I don’t know. Will we be in a similar situation in the near future? I don’t know that either, but we should not discount the possibility.
I have read countless jokes about staying at home 24/7 with one’s parents or spouse or siblings or children or in-laws, or all of the above! Some are funny. Many are optimistic about family life; others paint a bleak picture. The truth is that these days we are all sharing that common space we call home and we must learn--or relearn--how to do it well.
Aware of the pain and havoc this pandemic has wrought, there are some blessings to be acknowledged. I live with my wife and two children. Being with them is something I treasure a lot. This time affords me to be more present to them than I have been in a long while due to my work responsibilities. For me, this is a time to enjoy who they are. In fact, I am reassessing how I do certain things in my life so I can actually spend more time with them henceforward.
Living with others in the same house requires some basic rules of mutual care. And, yes, they start with the simplest things in life such as make your bed, bathe, put on clean clothes, pick up your mess, be courteous and smile. It may sound basic, and perhaps unsophisticated, but such actions are key to creating a good environment to live in with others, especially when we share the same space. Do this even if you do not have to leave your home. In fact, in this time of virtual interaction, do this before joining a videoconference!
It is tempting to assume that because we are in our homes the entire day we can be permanently in our pajamas, lower certain hygiene standards, and allow growing chaos into our private and shared spaces. Those behaviors soon negatively affect how we see others as well as our own self-esteem.
Make your bed. Bathe. Put on clean clothes. Pick up your mess. Be courteous and smile. My wife and I start the day with those words in mind and repeat them to our children constantly.
When we do that, life together is more enjoyable. When we take care of ourselves, we take care of others.
Hosffman Ospino is associate professor of theology and religious education and is director of Graduate Programs in Hispanic ministry at Boston College, School of Theology and Ministry.